Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize