Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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