8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize