I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
