no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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