dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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