I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
