you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
It was like getting head from an anaconda
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
