I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
