They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
