Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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