I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
