fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
