can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
