in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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