a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Randomize
