Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
