I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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