So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
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