If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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