32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
