I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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