I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
