i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
