what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
