Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
porn star boner night. come get it.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
