Christians are straight up FREAKS
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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