I smell stomach acid.
if only i could text you this smell
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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