You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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