i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He has the fingertips of a God
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
