we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
organizing the empties. That sober.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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