Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
