Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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