She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
