drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
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I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
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