and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
