I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
