did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
