I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize