3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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