i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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