hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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