I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
