We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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