it was like his penis was on wheels.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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