so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
