I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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