are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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