I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
