I wanna bring you to show and tell
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Randomize
