Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
