I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
