He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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