All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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