Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
