Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
