I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
