just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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