Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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