Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Little spoons don't ask big questions
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
