Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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