let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
