so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
