He kissed a someone with a penis
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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